You Used to Be the Don Juan, Now Your Name is Just Tuan

i took this very artsy picture

 I'm in such a freaking great mood today! Even though one of our six dogs, Scraps, woke me up at 3:45 am, I am still in a great frame of mind.  I walked three dogs at about 5:15 am: Piddle, Boxer and Chivo, and all was quiet at the park.  I had a lot of time to think about all the rad new things that have been happening, or are about to happen.

I have to do this, otherwise I would go crazy.  My "work environment" is absolutely nightmarish right now, unfortunately I am not

here I am at it again

ooooooooooh, expression

currently able to elaborate on that, as it will harsh my mellow.  But don't worry, I'm sure after work tonight I'll have like thirteen great rants to go off on, instead of my usual five.

Also, I don't think I have gotten six straight hours of sleep in about two weeks.  This ASTOUNDS other members of my family.  These are the same people who stomp like pachyderms, slam doors repeatedly, grind coffee, run the food disposal and yell at each other, all at four in the morning.

SO! I am so stoked on my new followers, hello and welcome friends! I am proud to be a part of the GFC Collective, brought to my attention by my pal Heidi over at Antlers and Roses, an awesome way to hook up with new followers, meet cool bloggers, and basically get the word out there for new bloggers like me!

I thought I would steal an idea from my buddy Jess, over at MILKY ROBOT who always does this awesome "Currently" update, and I thought it was a great way to organize the rest of my thoughts, activities and stupid crap I worry about.

MISS ALLISON IS CURRENTLY:

WATCHING //

Okay I love TV.  DUCK DYNASTY PREMIERE YESTERDAY.  Hey Jack!  I love that show.  Sorry vegan friends!  I am currently obsessed with Shameless, and my guiltiest pleasure: Mob Wives.  That's right.  Haters want to hate.  I'm not so much into gLee as I used to be, and was less-than-moved by the last season of American Horror Story.  I hope season three is better.

LISTENING//

I am going through a very heavy early nineties phase.  I can't stop listening to Pearl Jam Radio on My Pandora, as well as my Clash station.  However, I have also been dying over old Ice Cube and new Justin Timberlake.

PLANNING //

My first giveaway/feature on the blog with CrochetSavy, and my second one with Nerdbiskit...more outfit posts, some DIYs and of course, a nap.

THINKING ABOUT //

Stuff I need to make for my pals, crochet lessons and practice, finding a new job, getting the hell out of my parents' house, a new tattoo, buying something from Supayana, Bark Decor and Coral and Tusk.

LOOKING FORWARD TO //

THE MORRISSEY CONCERT TOMORROW NIGHT.  There is nothing else to think about.

READING //

I Don't Care About Your Band by Julie Klausner

Foam Magazine

hello mr. rabbit

MAKES ME HAPPY //

• My new BFF, "Grandma Neck" ahahhahahahha, no seriously finally I have a real friend, because I have none
• that my baby is home with me for two days
• new Episodes of Mad Men are coming soon
• haircut tomorrow
• did I mention the Morrissey concert already?

Thought you might like to see the picture I took (below) of what I thought was lemonade, but actually turned out to be "potato water" for potato bread my mom is making.  I fully put it on ice in a tumbler and took a giant swig.  I am an idiot.

Savy? Crochet Savy!

necklace: thrifted Flower Crown: Crochet Savy blouse: thrifted jeans and shoes: Target bracelet: Hawaiian heirloom plugs: Body Jewelry Source

So I know I've been bragging about doing a giveaway on the blog soon, and that is no lie my friends!  I just recently fell in love with Crochet Savy, and this is the awesome brainchild of a one Brittany Stewart.  This is her Flower Crown, which she makes custom in any color.  I have a strange love of mustard, so she was kind enough to indulge me!  This Friday you will be able to see Brittany's Rosette headband, which will be up for grabs in my VERY FIRST GIVEAWAY EVER!  Thanks again, Brittany.  Be sure to visit her store, and stay posted for a little Q and A with the lady herself.

Happy Tuesday everyone! I'm actually excited to work tonight...by pal Robyn has promised me TWO new crocheted collars!

Happy Birthday Alex!!!

So today I wrapped up this little beauty for one of my closest pals, Alex.  I always use pom-poms instead of ribbons (kind of my trademark) and these colors remind me of her.  She and I are planning a "Duck Dynasty" themed premiere party, stay tuned to the blog for my attempt at some camouflage cupcakes!

 

 I was super stoked to do a coral-inspired outfit shoot today, but the wind over here is CRAZY!!!  I think that's pretty much an open invitation for me to do some serious napping.

In other news, I am SO EXCITED to announce that I will starting crochet lessons from a lovely gal next week, Amy.  I will keep you all posted on my "learning process" and be looking to you for lots of support. 

Keep your eyes peeled for a lot of exciting stuff on the blog next week and next month!  I'll be doing some awesome giveaways from great sponsors and friends, attempting my first DIY, and of course, more and more riveting tales from my oh-so-fascinating life.  For now, enjoy your Sunday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX YOU RULE MY WORLD!!!

Blue Dress

This is probably my proudest outfit shoot we've done so far.  John did an awesome job, because the weather yesterday was atrocious!  I finished making my heart leggings yesterday, look out for that post coming very soon!  I have a lot of new things coming soon to Okay, Allison! to "wet your bloggy whistle", so to speak.  Also, I have been working really hard on getting my Etsy store underway, I am hoping to take all the pictures today and tomorrow, and have the shop open by Monday. 

In further awesome news, it looks like I'll be taking crochet lessons soon!  Many of you know I am a passionate loom knitter, but my dream has always to become a crochet goddess!  I'm having a meeting with my soon-to-be teacher, Amy, tomorrow, and she seems super sweet.  Living in the Inland Empire, it's so hard to find other creatively-minded people to hang with.  If my interests included going to the "River", Glamis, MMA, or drinking Bud Light, I'd be lousy with friends.  Perhaps if I put on some PINK gear and go to the UFC gym, I'll find another girl who likes to knit and loves puppies.  Probably not.

dress: Pure Energy boots: UO belt: H&M bracelets: Hawaiian heirloom glasses: ARMY eyewear

Buffalo Soldier

moccasins: Minnetonka dress: Pure Energy bracelets: heirloom necklace: thrifted plugs: Body Jewelry Source

 I have had these moccasins FOREVER.  I wore them almost daily when I was in college, they were the perfect addition to my dreadlocks and cut up t-shirt I decided to rock sans bra.  No, no pictures have survived from that era, so don't even ask.

I don't know what possessed me to lock my hair, but I am telling you it was one hell of a process.  Gina sat me down on the living room rug and teased the hell out of my hair until I felt my scalp would bleed.  Then she wrapped small pieces

with beeswax and rubber bands to secure the tips.  Then, she would tease and re-wrap, tease and re-wrap.

I wanted dreadlocks because honestly, I was high on class hours and very low on sleep.  Whenever I was not at school, I was at work.  Then, I had to come home and try to do homework while Gina tempted me with arts and crafts mixed with marijuana.  Impossible to resist!


 They grew in well, but between the looks I got

at school, as well as at work, I couldn't hang.  Gina (this is before she became world famous mind you) cut them off and the haircut she was able to create out of that awful mess was nothing short of a miracle.  She made me look hot.  I couldn't believe it.

Sometimes I think about locking my hair again, but then I wake up and realize that I'd rather eat a bag of glass than have my head smell like a mixture of poo and patchouli; ever, ever again.

Shave and a Haircut, Two Hearts

I allow myself one day off from bar-tending.  We can work up to six days a week, and if I am not scheduled for six, I generally will pick up an extra shift.  Living with my parents right now has turned me into a cash hoarder (although I barely have $200 saved), and John's new job hasn't yet proved lucrative, so I must work.  I genuinely enjoy my job, but I also have a lot of challenges, chores and responsibilities at home, so subsequently it feel like I work two jobs. 

That being said, obviously John and I get very little time together.  Even though we are living in the same house, he works the graveyard shift, and I work at all hours of the day and night.  Today was special because we got a few minutes together.  John got his haircut at American Barber Shop here in Corona, and I made a much anticipated trip to Micheal's to get some stitch witchery.  Since my budget is so light lately, I am going to attempt to make some heart leggings on my own.  If things go well, I will put it up as a D.I.Y. here on the blog.

I decided to bring my camera with me today, to capture all the smooth moves John's barber- Oscar, makes.  He is an absolute doll, and he and John are incredibly similar.  Neither one are talkative, both are very quiet and shy.  I have seen entire haircuts go by where not a word is spoken.  The gist is achieved by mere nods of the head and smiles.  Something about this quiet symmetry and diligent work just blows my mind, especially done under what appears to be a vow of silence.

As I've said before, we live in the 'burbs, so our barber shop is in a well-stuccoed strip mall.  None the less, the decor is still awesome and the beer is still free.

hottest specimen ever waiting for Mr. Oscar

me reading the Wall Street Journal...just kidding it's the IE Weekly

before

I think this is the most they have ever spoken.

after

So check out Captain Sexy here, all done with his new "undercut".  It was inspired by Jack Antoff, not because we like the band fun. (we don't, we loathe them) but since Jack is Lena Dunham's boyfriend, I'll allow it.  It's nice to be with my baby, if even just for a few hours.  I'd like to thank Mr. Oscar and the shop for letting me be that dorky nerd with the camera, snapping away and making everyone uncomfortable!

You're a Jerk and it's Only One in the Afternoon

 Lately, I've been having a hard time at work.  My anxiety is raging, and nothing seems to help.  For someone who can't afford health insurance, the next best coping mechanisms I have are basically pot and Lost Coast's Tangerine Wheat.  The only man that can ease my issues and help me calm down, besides John of course, is my baby Chivo.

 Here's a rad KIA John and I spotted in the Target parking lot.  Made me think of all my babies I have rescued. 

 

One night in Santa Ana, I was cruising to the AM/PM for some late night snacks, when I hear some crying coming from inside the dumpster near the store.  I flipped the lid, hoping not to find a human baby.  Instead, the most handsome, lovable, dirty, sickly little face popped out of a shoebox.  Someone THREW HIM AWAY.  He is my best friend and closest confidant, the best pal anyone could ask for.  He is especially calming for me lately, since my job has been absolutely nightmarish recently, and I have been ridden with anxiety. 

Daytime shifts at the bar are usually a breeze.  My philosophy is: a daytime shift means I have an "out-time" which means that definitively, I will be leaving before the sun goes down.  I hope.  Evening bar shifts are a crap shoot, you could leave early or you could be so swamped that you are sure it would be wiser to sleep at the bar, instead of going home.  It all depends of the patrons, the business and of course, the management.

Yesterday I was stoked because I had a day solo shift in the bar.  Nine times out of ten we split the bar sales between two bartenders, especially at night, so I love being able to walk away with my OWN money, instead of waiting until the next day for my tips to be calculated, bagged and then picked up at the appropriate hour.  The whole process has never made any sense to me, but oh well.

Yesterday, just as I was beginning to finish up my side-work, a couple sat down at the bar.  They were both in their late forties to fifties, and were casual, but well-dressed.  If you tend bar, or work in any kind of customer service environment, you might posses the same skill set I do; that being I can spot an asshole at about forty paces.  This guy- asshole. 

First, he complained about the beer.  He obviously had no idea what he was talking about, because hoppy beer was described as "flat" and every malty beer was described as "hoppy."  He would wait until I was doing dishes to ask any questions. 

Example:

Him: "Do you like your grilled artichoke?"
Me: "Yes, it's one of my favorites, it is delicious.  Would you like me to get one started to for you?" Him: "Nope."

Hmmmmmmm, okay.  Then:

Him: "Do you like this song?"
Me: "It's alright."
Him: "Do you know who it is?"
Me: "No."
Him: "Well, that's a shame."

And finally, my favorite:

Him: "You new here?"
Me: "No, I've worked here seven years."
Him: "That's impossible, this place hasn't been open for seven years."
Me: "We opened in February 2006."
Him: "Yeah, maybe.  Well all I know is everything here has gone downhill.  Too fucking corporate."
Me: "Sir, we're family owned and operated."
Him: "Sure you are.  They don't tell people like YOU anything."

People like me, huh?  Like, the people that work here?!?  Anything I suggested, he did not want to try.  He ordered the cheapest oysters because "they're all the same, don't try to tell me this one's better because it costs more."  He actually accused me of suggesting things on the menu due to the fact that they were "expensive." 

He and his "lady friend" who said all of about four words the entire time, basically whispered about me, as I was standing right in front of them.  Newsflash people: if you are whispering the words "tattoo" and "bartender", I'm going to go ahead an assume you're talking about me.  Especially if you are doing this while simultaneously giving me dirty looks.

In situations like this, there are so many things I want to do and say, but alas, such things would lead to my termination and most assuredly, arrest.  The guy barely left ten percent, and made sure to flash his BMW key set in my face before leaving.

"Cheer up," he snarly smiled, "and one day you'll have one of these."  I am assuming he was referring to his yuppie car, since he was waving the keys around with his left hand, and shoving them in my face.  I looked at his wrinkly fingers and noticed something awful, gaudy, and completely ridiculous.  "I'll have a pinkie ring with a giant CZ in it?!?," I said both with the right amounts of bravery and sarcasm, dead on looking at his jewels.  His girlfriend burst into uncontrolled laughter.  He grabbed his wallet and left.  Ah...the day shift. 

Monday Morning Must Haves

Now that my work week is coming to a close, I am eagerly awaiting a few days off...a little shopping and of course, relaxation.  I have a weakness for a few powerful things: eye-glasses (both sunglasses and regular)...I am nearsighted, so I need them at all times.  These are the ones I am currently coveting from Tumbleweeds.

I messaged them, and they were kind of enough to respond within about ten seconds.  Turns out, I can bring these to my optometrist and get my Rx put in.  Hallelujah!

My Instagram has been flooded lately with pictures of people I admire sporting gear from an awesome company: hello.  I am coveting their leggings big time.  These ones with the hearts, in addition to other stuff I have seen on their site, literally has me up at night.

Those who are close to me know I have an unhealthy obsession with foxes and sloths.  When I saw this shirt from supayana I thought I might die.  The only thing is they also make it as a dress, and I have no idea which one I want more.

Finally, those of you who know me well, you know I bleed black and orange.  Imagine my shock when I found these on Etsy the other day.  I almost screamed aloud.  A voice in my head told me I might be able to do this myself, but I know I could never get it that perfect.  

I have a long day ahead of me, but I am so excited for the happenings on the blog later this week.  Stay tuned!