Hey guys! Sorry about my absence, but due to recent illness, job change and personal issues, I have had no choice but to take a hiatus from this space.  If I did not email you a tracking number for an IG purchase yesterday or this morning, that means it will ship tomorrow morning, and you will receive your tracking number then.  If you live in Canada, I gots all your weird customs paperwork, in case something goes wonky.  

I am lucky enough to be going through a re-design right now, so the things to come are going to kick some serious ass.  Thank you for always being supportive and patient.  Trust me, it will be worth it.


Currently Coveting: Savage Seeds

I have found my Mecca, and it is Savage Seeds. 

I have been rather depressed lately, due to the fact that I am experiencing a little bit of what I am calling, "The First Month Blues", where I feel completely alone and inadequate in a new city.  I did not express to anyone how my new job was going, because to be perfectly honest, it was a struggle.  I just did not feel like I belonged there at all.  Many servers will tell you that you are, "either cut out for fine dining, or not." 

Well, guess who isn't?  Me.  I'm going to leave it at that, because I need my job.  I decided I had to find something else to supplement my income, so I started trolling the old Craigslist like a champ.  Okay, let it be known: THERE ARE NO JOBS IN LONG BEACH.  Unless you are qualified to be the city comptroller, or a sheet metal installer...good luck.  

So I clicked on Orange County, because, let's face it, this whole mish-mash of LA sub-entities are all 
different things to different people, like...the border between Santa Ana and Costa Mesa starts...where exactly?  The first posting I saw was for my old job, where I worked about sheesh, five years ago?  It was within the same chain, just in an OC location.  I almost had a heart attack.  I trained their GM, and he kicks ass.  I could not dial the phone fast enough.  Today I brave the bus ride I know will become my life, and I don't care...I have a lot of looming to do.  Tonight, I will sign the papers that make me a part of a place I love, and people I have missed.  Wish me luck.  

The Asphalt Crew

Welcome to my lovely home.
One thing that blogging has taught me is that I am not "cool."  I mean, I already knew this to an extent, but man this place will put you on "The Asphalt Crew" faster than you can say "outfit post."  What's The Asphalt Crew, you ask?  Oh please, let me tell you.

The Asphalt Crew was so named due to the area of my high school, where certain kids hung out, and this area happened to be in front of the library, covered guessed it, asphalt.  My high school cost something ridiculous like three million dollars to build (in 1994, that was a lot of money, kids) and we had a million places to chill and enjoy breaks.  These guys wanted the coldest, most sunless area available.  They also coveted the giant asphalt step, which formed a semi-circle around their camp.

They had no real "leader" but if I am going to say they were guided by a young gentleman named "Dave" who fancied doing random accents during class, and was known to wear a cape.  I think his dad was the Mayor.  I don't know, I just know his dad looked MORTIFIED every time he had to see Dave in our theater productions, and his exit always seemed rather...quick. 

Dave was a real chick magnet for the Asphalt Ladies, which seemed to be in a smaller population than the guys.  Go figure.  I remember one of his conquests was a very unique Jewish girl, who was wrought with guilt over her parents being displeased with dating outside her religion.  The only reason I know this was I was subject to her incessant wailing during fifth period English.  I guess Dave had the nerve to ask if her family ever put up a Christmas tree, "just for the season."  Yeah, you're toast Dave.  Or should I say matzoh?

Between Dramatic Dave, Matzoh Madness and a whole other cast of characters (literally), we who enjoyed the comforts of the quad were constantly entertained.  There was the time "Tad" decided to twist his body into the shape of a pretzel, and walk around during the middle of a rally held in the amphitheater.  The rally was to keep us drug-free.  I'm pretty sure he did about ten whippets before the assembly.  He was carted off like a war protester, surrounded by applause.

I had a lot more interaction with these folks than most.  Being borderline "Asphalt" myself, (my humor and sarcasm barely allowed my presence amongst the semi-popular crowd) I was sneaking off to the library a lot, to check out fiction.  They were always in my theater or drama workshops, annoying our teacher.  I could not make up the fact that one time I heard it announced by "Angela", a very clingy and over-sharing student, "My mom gets all the blackheads out of my ears using these,"  a la, Ralph Wigam.  She was holding a wad of bobby pins we needed for wigs.  I almost threw up.   

They were also in pretty much EVERY FUCKING PLAY, even if they had NO PART.  I would get irritated that when they didn't get cast, they wanted to be backstage, you know, "just to help out."  They wore all black on these nights, even though none of them were on sets, backstage or lighting.  It was almost like they expected one of us to go down, and if they were wearing just the correctly angled style of beret and black turtleneck, we would run to them like our savior.

I don't need to tell you that never happened.  

So, fast forward to now, where I basically am seeing this whole Asphalt Crew as a metaphor for my own life.  I recently decided to re-design my blog, and nothing has left me feeling more like a stranger in a strange land.  Originally I asked a "big-blogger" to do it, because I liked her work.  I can't get the "big blogger" to look at my blog, or even follow me on IG.  So how are they going to glean any kind of idea what the blog is about, let alone what I represent.  I mean, I know I don't represent much more than being a crass bitch but...I know I wont blow half my paycheck on someone who only emails me to ask about paying, but has no interest in getting to know me.  Like a loser, I even asked them to follow me on IG.  I tried to friend request them. Nope, too busy getting free clothes and then complaining that you have too many.

Other "big bloggers" have blown me off countless times, even when I just leave a comment on their blog, or send them a friendly email to say I am a fan.  I know these people are busy but it seems they can make time to respond and acknowledge other "big bloggers."  The best is when you buy something from them and they tell you they are "swamped" and it takes nine months.  LOVE THAT.  If someone was giving me free clothes, shoes, bags, used gerbil cages...shit I would be grateful for ANYTHING.  I might be "swamped" putting it all away, but puh-lease. 

I don't get it.  Maybe it's karma for all the hours spent staring at "Angela" picking her nose.

Do I need to blog about nail art?  Is it important for you to see the inside of my make-up bag?  Should I do an outfit post everyday?  Do you want me to review some concealer I got for free, but that you will never be able to afford?  Do you want me to show you how to make a peanut butter muffin with a mini-pumpkin pie inside?  Do you want to learn to make a felted cover for your iPad?  If you do, I can recommend a blog for you, TRUST ME.

I am proud to be a part of The Asphalt Crew of the blog world.  I don't want to be like anybody else.  I have found a designer that actually cares about ME.  Hell, we're even friends!  

I am now going to do ten whippets and then twist myself into a pretzel shape and roll around Downtown.  See ya there!  I'll be the one putting my fist through all the chalkboard art.    



Q and A

1. What's the first thing you do when you get up?
My three furry babies make sure I don't sleep in, they need to pee, STAT!  I am usually wearing an outfit that could be confused for a cheap Halloween costume, screaming at my dogs not to tangle me into a broken leg, all while attempting to be a "good citizen" and pick up "gifts" left by my dogs.  Most of said "gifts" smell like Chernobyl. 

2. What is the 3rd picture on your phone? Share it! 
This is from a party at Brittany's house.  This picture changes lives.
3. What TV show are you most excited about returning this Fall?

GIRLS (okay I know that's not coming until January, but I care about nothing else), OF COURSE American Horror Story, Mad Men, Grimm...

4. What is something really popular that you secretly (or not so secretly) loathe?

Breaking Bad.  I just don't get it, I'm sorry.  I feel like saying that means I am going to be killed.  I also loathe nail art, maxi dresses and wedge sneakers.

5. Do you have any pets? Tell us about them! Bonus points for pictures.


Chivo was my first resuce pup, found abandoned in a dumpster behind an AM/PM.  I think he is a chihuahua/poodle mix.  I saved him and his brother (whom I adopted out), and nursed him back to health.  He was literally at death's door.  He is absolutely THE BEST DOG EVER.  He is a healing spirit, and he can read me like a book.  We think he is about four years old.

Piddle is another rescue, saved when she was tossed from a moving vehicle, while zipped inside a duffel bag.  She is needless to say, skidish, and barks at EVERYTHING.  She is definitely a dachshund/chihuahua mix.  She is also four years old.  She doesn't like most people or most things.   However, her two favorites activities include sleeping and eating.  She is the only small dog I know who hates baths, but loves swimming in a pool.

Boxer was a "donation" from my friend Desi, who could not keep her, due to her sister's infant.  Boxer is my constant companion.  He never leaves my side, he bursts in on me in the bathroom, and cries like a baby when I leave for five minutes.

Katniss is my beautiful princess of destruction.  She found by a friend in a parking lot, as a kitten.  I attempted to "foster" her, but she is the most AMAZING animal I have ever met.  She will swat you and cuddle you, simultaneously.  She is smart as a whip, and she is a lover.  Her spirit and heart are amazing.

6. If you could put together one outfit that represents you perfectly, what would it be?

Cotton dress with a novelty print, vintage eyeglasses, flats, one of my silly brooches, and a purse big enough to hold all my yarn!  Bonus if I can have a rad bike with a basket!

7. What is your favorite adult beverage?

I am a beer girl, if you can't tell by my lovely belly.  I am absolutely devoted to Lost Coast's Tangerine Wheat.  Oh sweet lord.  However, I am also a sucker for a really good margarita.

8. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?

Three way tie between gLee, Billy Joel and Sister Wives.
9. What are 3 positive words to describe you?

intelligent, weird and sarcastic
10. What is your favorite Friday afternoon/evening activity?

I would love to be able to loom all afternoon while watching trash TV and shopping online.  Ideally, John would be either off work or home early, and we would get gussied up and hit the Art District to grub down.  Then we wrap our evening up with a few episodes of Fallon, and if John's lucky I'm not asleep by ten.  Poor guy.

11. A day in the life: What does you typical day look like?

Walking dogs, writing, working and waiting. 

12. If you could live anywhere else in the world, where would it be?

San Francisco, or as she's properly known, The City.

13. You've got a whole day to yourself...what will you do?

Attempt to sleep in, get my hairs and nails did, go vintage shopping on 4th and probably eat a lot of cheese pizza.  Then I would consume an Oreo shake for dinner.  Or two.  I would also try to squeeze in all the BBC America I could while John was away.  Although I have hooked him on Downton Abbey (YES!).

14. Dream job?

"Being a published writer. Working for a non-profit. Or working to rehabilitate abused dogs."  Okay, that was Catherine's answer.  Honestly, add Trent Reznor, Deap Vally or Jack White's personal assistant to the list and we are identical.  That's why I love her. 

15. Least favorite chore?


16. When do you most feel like a rock star?

When I am watching a television show and some obscure musician is in the backing band, and I say, "Isn't that the keyboardist from such and such band?"  And I am right.  One hundred percent of the time.  It doesn't matter the genre or time period either.  I pissed John off so much the other day, when I called out the former lead singer of The Muffs as being the new bassist for the Pixies. He literally screamed, "I hate you!" (after he Googled it, of course) and left the room.
17. What is something you are currently trying to improve within yourself?
 I know this sounds strange, but I want to care LESS.  I am constantly worried about EVERYTHING, and if I could just get that under control, I think that would be awesome.  I would also like to improve my photography skills, and really become a bad-ass at it.
I'd love to hear your answers, I feel like (as usual) mine have a lot to do with food and shopping.

Downtown, Everything's Waiting For You

First of all, I want to thank Amanda from Salvaged Strawberry for literally saving my life yesterday.  This entire post is dedicated to her, as well as my mermaid sister Megan, who blogs at The Nautical OwlIf it had not been for the two of them, yesterday may have gone very differently.  

I decided to venture downtown and take some shots with an older camera, one that I have found among a treasure trove of old Polaroids, 8mms and even ANCIENT instant cameras I have no idea how to operate.  

It's a sweet relic, somewhere between a "point-and-shoot" and a true DSLR.  I just wanted to capture the beautiful subtleties of my new neighborhood, in a new way.  Turns out, the pictures look ALMOST as good as a DSLR.  Bloggin' on a budget, folks!  
As I mentioned before, all electrical boxes are painted by independent artists, all here in the East Art District.  This one might be my favorite.
The wall outside Hamburger Mary's.  Some of my favorite queens have actually signed this thing!
Oh yes, there will be cocktails!
My current obsession with succulents has taken over my mind.
I imagine my BFF Autumn would DIE over this building.
Good way to sell a car: chalkboard paint as signage!
I love walking around downtown, it's just hard for me...because I have a tendency to get lost.  Also, random strangers will peek their heads out of buildings and look at you like you work for TMZ.  "I'm taking a picture of a plant, lady!  CHILL!"

I took a bunch of cute shots, and I will share more with you tomorrow.  I have a giveaway planned for this week...I am just waiting for the merchandise to be forwarded to my new address.  Here's a hint: it helps you get drunk.  I figure, that's all you need to know.