Get A Job. Sha Na Na Na!

I think we can all empathize with the job hunt nightmare.  It seems like recently, and especially among my Pizza Sisters, that unemployment/job search/disappointment seems to be a recurring theme.  No, we're not sitting around watching Mob Wives, cradling a Hot n' Ready (I WISH)...but instead ripping our hair out everyday over meaningless interviews, endless applications and a lot of doors being slammed in our faces.  As a sidebar, I hate Craigslist.

Maybe you can tell me something.  I recently interviewed for what I would call a glorified Denny's.  I had FOUR interviews for a management position (is that normal?!?!?!), one that would probably pay me less than serving there.  The main concern of this employer: my plugs and tattoos.  Okay, I get it.  But we're not selling stocks and bonds here...this is a hamburger joint.  The crew wears t-shirts and jeans.  I have two bachelors' degrees and over eight years of experience.  I can wear long sleeves and flesh-toned plugs.  In fact, no one even noticed my ears until some tiny "Juno the Caseworker" manager pointed it out between Virginia Slims.  I'm sorry Juno, I know you hate me because I had to explain what the word "clandestine" meant to you.  Holy shit. 

However, is this what is important to employers?  Should it be?  I see EIGHTY PERCENT of people (mostly women) sitting in these cattle-call style, "group interviews" and all of them are wearing...jeans.  Granted, most are presumably younger than I am, but some I know are in my age range and above.  Is it ridiculous of me to be astounded by this phenomena?  When I was in management, if someone even approached us to APPLY in jeans, we would kindly note that and turn them away.  Something about the seriousness of wanting a job, so you look presentable...

Don't get me wrong.  I do not go into interviews wearing a leather vest and leggings, with my hair completely spiked and huge gauges in my ears.  I look like Mary Fucking Poppins.  No one could ever guess I have A tattoo, let alone...I don't know how many anymore.  No one notices my ears, unless they look with a magnifying glass.  I would assume they would use said magnifying glass on my resume, but alas.

So today, just like every day, I applied to a couple jobs that I know I am WAY overqualified for, but assuredly I will not get.  I also applied for jobs I have no idea how to do, also...won't get.  People that have interviewed me have actually said, "You might want to leave your education off of your resume from now on."  WHAT THE HELL???  I ain't too proud to beg either.  I interviewed at Pick Up Stix...and they were "concerned" about my ears as well.  "Hi, here's your fried wontons...Oh?  My ears?  I'm sorry you're suddenly going to leave without paying?!?!" NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 

I have applied at all "freak-friendly" environments, Target...etc.  I live in the middle of urban sprawl central, so there's no cute art district or "fun shops" to work at.  Even though this is Southern California, people are rigid as hell about appearance in the workplace.  DAMN YOU PORTLAND.  I can't wait to the meantime, I can't even get Starbucks to call me back.  I am this close to jogging down to the Jack in the Box on the corner and throwing myself onto the counter.  No, maybe not for a job this time...but maybe just for some french toast sticks.



  1. It is sad that society is so concerned with appearance rather than skill and ability. I work in a very conservative office and have eight tattoos, only one small one is visible. The old ladies flipped when they saw the huge one on my back, that is always covered by my shirt and has absolutely no bearing on how well I rock this job. Good luck!

  2. Omg, do I hear you. I have been doing this for months. And get this, my tattoo was concerning to the owner a....wait for it.....chain hair salon.

  3. you should apply to work at a pizza shop. just for kicks. and pizza. and creamy garlic sauce. mmmmmmmmmm.
    (only say this in relation to your pizza sisters comments hehe).

    It's really weird, you'd think in this day and age people would start being a lot more accepting of tattoos and piercings, I mean they're generally so much more accepted and you see so much more of them these days, strange that it'd be a concern still.


  4. Did you move to So Cal?! I didn't realize you lived here or were living here now. So sorry to hear this. I've heard of horror stories job hunting, and I'm flabbergasted that someone with your resume (from what you've shared in this post) can't find a job!?

  5. Dang girl! That's rough... it's a really tough market out there. I once (when I first moved to Austin) got desperate and went to the Mall to get a retail job. No shame in my game... anyhow it was an upscale retail company for more Mature women shall we say? I had to take a freaking test and have 2 interviews and they asked if I was trying to get my degree in Fashion. WTF! Nope....already had a degree in Art and that didn't really do me any good
    (still appreciated the whole College experience though) I was like "what the heck guys?" The Mall..... seriously? I've worked in retail my whole life since I was 14 and could get a workers permit signed. Sheesh. I told them to suck it when they offered my $9 an hour. Good luck girlie.... it can be hard but just remember to keep your chin up.

  6. 1. Find a job is very difficult, though NOT impossible. Last year, I was laid off in Feb, put in aprox 100 applications in my first week and a half off.........and got 2 interviews from it. While I do not have formal education, I have experience in many avenues that would fit most jobs and I applied everywhere: everywhere. I even applied to be a lamber. Don't know what that is? It would assist in the birthing of lambs, branding, shaving, basic care and cleaning. No joke. I'm hardcore, yo. The second time around I was applying was 3 months later, while working at Lowes as a seasonal employee. At that time, I was more picky, ended up applying to aprox 120 applications.....and only got 2 interviews. I ended up getting a job, but it was starting to get a tad bit discouraging.

    2. I love that you mentioned Juno and burst into *such sexy* "BWAAHAHAHAHAH!!" laughter at "pointed out between her Virginia Slims."

    3. I also love french toast sticks. <3

  7. you are hilarious! I hope your search improves :)

  8. Amen sister! I hear you! I live in a big city in Australia, and I have troubles finding jobs too. "Oh well, I didn't want to work for your ass-licking, mainstream, consumer-driven, mind-controlling company anyway, you know-nothing fucktard." Yeah, i'm bitter. Haha. Good luck, lady! xx


Thanks for reading! I love comments from anyone who isn't a CUNT.